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| 'Friendship Day' - 4th of August this year | | | Mahadeep Singh Jamwal | 8/3/2019 12:08:31 AM |
| Our knowhow of the "Friendship Day", is limited to the few lines of the friendship text. A crisscross takes us to more line of the text, to aware us that 'Friendship day' originally founded by Hallmark in 1919 (Hallmark Cards, Inc. Is a private, family-owned U. S. based oldest and largest Company, manufacturer of greeting cards, founded in 1910 by Joyce Hall) for promotion of greeting cards. But the card market dried up in somewhere in 1940 and as such the day also died out. It is traced that in 1958 World Friendship Crusade proposed 'World Friendship Day' for 30 July in 1958 and in 1998 'Winnie the Pooh' (a fictional teddy bear and the title character from A. A. Milne's Winnie-the-Pooh and the house at Pooh Corner) was named the world's 'Ambassador of Friendship' at the 'United Nations' and in April 2011, the General Assembly of the United Nations officially recognized 30th July as 'International Friendship Day'; However, some countries, including India, celebrate 'Friendship Day' on the first Sunday of August every Year.
"As social animals we need friends and what attracts them is trust. And trust grows when we show real concern for others' well-being. Compassion brings self-confidence and an ability to act transparently. It strengthens trust which is the ground for friendship" - Dalai Lama. On the day we are supposed to introspect exactly what the friendship is. Does it mean have each other in Face Book (Modern trend) list? Or that we see each other every time and again (Missing aspect). My view hinges to the aspect that a relationship needs to have some key elements in order to be labeled as friendship. The general traits of a friendship include similar interests, mutual respect and an attachment to each other. In order to experience friendship, we need to have true friends, a package of combination of affection, loyalty, love, respect, and trust. To find friend, this can get tricky, because most people have a different idea of what friendship really means. Some people are instantly trusting new people, and accept them into their list without question. For these types of folks, they assume someone is their friend until they find out otherwise.
On the subject matter of this writing, when we visit our holy books, we find that they give us true understanding of friendship. In the famous Hindu epic 'Mahabharata', Lord Krishna demonstrates the many colors of friendship - affection, romance, brotherhood, protection, guidance and, intimacy. Friendship is all about these and much more. The Bible, primary text of the western civilization, reflects upon friendship as: the bond that forms the foundation to human faith, trust and companionship. Islam speaks that a good friend and companion is the greatest gift of God. The weakest person is one who cannot make anyone his friend and brother. In Islam, plenty of friends have been described as ideal source for comfort in this world. The great Buddha describe friendship as close, loving non-sexual relationship between two or more people and is the human relationship that Buddha praised above all others. He described a beautiful friend as being "loving, pleasant, a good mentor, experienced, committed, able to explain things well, having profound understanding and being concerned with your welfare". He looks in a friend as the helper, the enduring friend, the mentor and the compassionate friend.
It is to understand that friendship can exist only on the principle of trust. So, be friendly, just friendly to all that exists. How amazing this world was made, Even if we all are friendly, (in our own way) all of us cannot be a friend all the time. That is the first thought which came to mind, so be friendly to all but choose your friend wisely as it is safety and care commitment. The quality of being friendly is affability, bonhomie, geniality, pleasantness, kindness, good-heartedness, and good-naturalness.
In the present era, one requires exploring the difference between being friends and acting friendly (falseness) between friendship and friendliness. Friendship is a relationship whereas friendliness is a quality not a relationship. It has nothing to do with anybody else; it is basically inner quality. One can be friendly even when one is alone. You cannot be in friendship when you are alone - the other is needed - but friendliness is a kind of fragrance, it is superficial and includes smiling, joking, and a warm tone of voice. Friendliness is unlimited because it is not dependent on the other; it is absolutely our own flowering and in that friendliness one will find all that is worth finding. In friendliness, one will find the ultimate friend. Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. With every true friendship, we build more firmly the foundations on which the peace of the whole world rests. In today's world of false impressions, how we tell who is a friend and who is just being friendly. It is difficult to recognize the difference between someone who is sharing your feelings or enhancing your feelings. It is hard to be friendly in an un-social able world, while people must endure within a society that forces the pressures of demanding rules upon them, they can still find solace in the intimacy of a warm friendship. Randomly a thought came into my mind, how about we compare cross-sex friendship or same sex friendship. Which one do we personally prefer? Which do we think; upon much reflection has a better long term relationship? Understanding, where do differences crop more easily? Which one hurts more if it breaks after a deep initial bonding? Which sex values friendship more? What differences can we find between the two? What is good, and what is bad in each of them both? I believe lacking lust, there is nothing bad to have friends from both the categories, as the friendship is a commitment to your happiness. It's said that "good advice grates on the ear," but a true friend won't refrain from telling you something you don't want to hear, something that may even risk fracturing the friendship, if hearing it lies in your best interest. A true friend will not lack the mercy to correct you, when you're wrong. Such advisory we can have from both genders.
On political spectrum today we need to be guided by the words of Mahatma Gandhi for the relations across the borders "Friendship that insists upon agreement on all matters is not worth the name. Friendship to be real must ever sustain the weight of honest differences, however sharp they are." Differences of opinion, different lifestyles and interests may make our friendships interesting and sometimes challenging but if the core value system is not the same the friendship itself probably has no solid foundation.
Concluding some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance they awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their vision. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. But the bad luck is that they stay in our lives for a while. Here come the words of His holiness Dalai Lama in our rescue: "Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day." My message on the day - "Koshish Karo Koi Aapse Na Ruthe, Zindagi Me Apno Ka Sath Na Chhute, Dosti Koi Bhi Ho Use Aisa Nibhao, Ki Us Dosti Ki Dor Zindagi Bhar Na Toote" and "Do not expect your friend to be a perfect person. But, help your friend to be a perfect person. That is true friendship". |
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